I spoke to highly respected (Chairman) Senator Sen. Jim Inhofe, who has informed me that he WILL NOT be changing the names of our great Military Bases and Forts, places from which we won two World Wars (and more!). Like me, Jim is not a believer in “Cancel Culture”.

Can’t believe this is the last time I get to watch this

#crew #NewProfilePic

they need to ask you your political views before you get put with roommates now.

Nothing like a Lubbock sunset.

If Nancy Pelosi can get her hair done in person you can vote in person.

i’m crying so bad

I haven’t been scared of COVID till my sister got the rona and described it as “High School Pacer Test 24/7” So I just Amazoned a hazmat suit

I wish I could send an invoice to people that waste my time

Never take advice from Michelle Obama. SHE RUINED OUR SCHOOL LUNCHES!

who tf sees a tomato in their burger and keeps it there

Too true

“iF yOu SuPpOrT ______ uNfRiEnD mE” y’all are ridiculous. y’all are the reason our country is so divided. everyone has the right to vote for who they want and if you’re willing to not be my friend because of my political views you weren’t a real friend anyways.

“Slicker than whale shit out there”

Popcorn goes in spaghetti. See, that’s how ridiculous you sound when you say beans belong in chili.

So scared of getting older, I'm only good at being young

Ink Masters but it’s leather workers competing to see who’s best at doing different styles of tooling and assembly

Girls tire pressures be like 38 26 17 29