my red flag, you ask? mmmmmm probably my somewhat laissez-faire use of paper towels. if I had to pick

Tipsy on paddy’s day liking every story I see

April is going to feel like this

Salmon:

Girl we have to persevere

Goo Goo Dolls performing ‘iris’ in the pouring rain, 2004

You better keep an eye on me or im giong to cause trouble

summer in the city is now

Inimitable. The original. #Hamilten

you could’ve had a bad bitch. malcolm middle

i think we need to start doing rocky horror style midnight showings of popstar: never stop never stopping. and no this is not only because i have the entire movie memorized and this would be my only venue to flaunt that

kicking up a fuss cause the guys at big red rubbed our names off the pool waitlist… very specific issue……..

Yes I’m tweeting what’s the issue????

This is how it feels all the time

Her tampon was forced so impossibly deep into her that it had to be removed with forceps at the hospital

My grandfather used to say “and Magda Goebbels made a great strudel” and I never knew what it meant until after he died my grandmother explained some magazine did a fluff interview with Magda Goebbels a few years before WW2 that included her strudel recipe and my grandfather, who

this is literally what they did in the bible and then god killed them for it like you can not get anymore straight forward than this

Downloaded 6 hours of media for a 1 hour flight