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Scary thought for the day: this person gets to vote

“I’ll be honest, I just want to see people suffer.”

“I used to be with it. Then they changed what it was. Now it scares me.”

Imagine getting this angry at the idea of children being fed and not going hungry.

“I agree with Steve.” said Mrs Bunty Twelvetrees, 83, church organist, roof repair fund treasurer and hollowed out hate-fuelled husk of a human being, today. “The church is no place for any of these trendy types with their notions of kindness and compassion towards others.”

“See what they’re making me do?” weeps landlord grabbing more and more money off of their tenants instead of just making a little less profit. “I don’t want to be taking even more of your cash! Honestly! It’s the government’s fault! I wish I wasn’t doing this! Noooooooo!”

“First they came for the mashed potato, and I said nothing, because I was not a complete fucking weirdo trying to paint myself as the victim of some massive culture war conspiracy through the medium of mashed potato.”

“These days, if you’re a badger and you like mashed potato, you get locked up.”

Strong “I am masturbating as I write this” energy here

When you're sitting in an airport lounge, listening to music that makes you feel heisty.

Yes, that's because you own two homes.