Trying something new

Based on your tweets i think most of the women in here can relate

There's so many people in here going without sex. You ought to just meet up with the other people in here going without. Easy fix. Dummies.

If I had a dollar for every time I lied and told a homeless person I didn't have any money I'd still lie and say I didn't have any money

Am I doing this right?

Now amber alert means she shit in your bed

Westerns are what happens when you stretch a bar fight into an entire movie

We still doing metoo or nah? #AmberTurd

'You sound like an Amber Heard supporter' has replaced 'Talk to the hand (‘cause the face ain’t listening)'

My girlfriend doesn't believe in birth control so I just push her down the stairs once a week.

I bet deaf people accidentally fart loudly more often than the rest of us

A woman has ten openings. She can only get pregnant in one of them. Normalize alternative access!!

You know who you are

I don't care if it's mostly pee

Your nipples are in the wrong spot

Ladies, we know where your clit is. We just don't care if you cum

Heard Facebook is down?

You find out who your real friends are when Facebook goes down and you can only talk to people who have your phone number

I would reverse my vasectomy for you