My only patronising A Level results day advice is don’t agree to be in the Times’s blurred ‘running for joy towards friends’ aerial photo, which will elongate your nose to the same length as your feet and haunt you for the rest of time.

Stop it. Stop it now.

Shayan Sardarizadeh When you’ve got a legally binding document to serve at 2 and carp fishing at 4.

oh go on then, it’s Christmas

Actually got a bit emosh hearing Lynda's first haughty sniff of the Christmas production season last night. The queen is back.

Lasse Hallstrom laughing at his own video for Knowing Me Knowing You is just glorious #TheJoyOfAbba

Sue Gray is currently hiding out in a car park somewhere outside Kettering #ProjectZeus

Of COURSE my most popular tweet of all time is about a performance manager who thought I spent too much time on the loo.

STOP WHAT YOU'RE DOING AND GET A LOAD OF COPYWRITING ADVICE AND SUPPORT AND EXAMPLES OF WORK THAT WORKS FREE linkedin.com/posts/dannelke… What a man, @DanNelken #copywritersunite

‘Because sometimes there’s a queue outside a nightclub… inexplicably.’ God I love David Mitchell #WILTY

'SMELLS CAN KILL ME' has officially ended me.

A person I don't know, founder of an app startup that protects digital professionals from unsolicited notifications... just tried to add me on LinkedIn.

Thank you Ma’am, for everything.

What a nice young man. youtube.com/watch?v=jwqQvr…

Two brilliant jobs with a creative and compassionate team. A charity helping families with shelter in both headline and forgotten crises. Remote, Cornwall or both. #CopywritersUnite

Essential February shopping, care of Robert Douglas-Fairhurst Official and Falmouth Bookseller (naval frigate and daffs, model’s own) #metamorphosis

Sorry but this is a direct quote of Dwight's acceptance speech at the Salesman of the Year Awards. (Maybe sub in finger-pointing for lectern-banging.) Blood alone moves the wheels of history.