noo babe i love being confused the straightforward stuff is too scary

When Two People Connect ⚡️🤣

- why is there a rubber willy in the drawer? - well sweetie, since daddy died in that terrible accident, i need comfort. - but he’s downstairs watching telly. - don’t ruin this fantasy…?

Monday 😆🖕#NewProfilePic

I like using “I hope this email finds you before I do.”

nobody talks about the privilege of having a friend who shows interest in your hyperfixations

Morning all. Kids back at school Yay....Oh wait... we homeschool 🙄😒

First day of homeschooling in the little house 🥰 so far so good

Best thing about being old is writing I've reached that age tweets

Morning all x

I have not felt that satisfied in years. Wow.

Let’s stop focusing on people like that dickhead Polish guy who stole the hat from the kid and the asshole Mets fan who took that ball from the old man and focus on guys like this for a change.

Morning all 🥰

I should get a discount for how many times I eat at the hospital canteen 😆

Bruno taking a break from work x

I talked my child into trimming my hair 😬 she went crazy 🤣

Thursdays are like being kissed on the neck and then told to calm down.

Morning everyone 😊