TOM: “My character’s name is Ja Rule. He’s a Tiefling Bard that was exiled from his homeland for the crime of having too much swagger.” BEN: “You know what? Tieflings are normally depicted as outcasts, so I’m going to approve this one.” [TOM SNAPS HIS FINGERS AND POINTS AT BEN]

DONNA [CUTAWAY]: “As soon as I heard Vin Diesel was into this stuff, I learned all of it. 5th edition. 4th. Pathfinder. Savage Worlds. As far as I’m concerned, you win D&D by becoming Dominic Toretto’s Elven Queen.”

ANDY: “Yahtzee!” APRIL: “Babe, no-“ ANDY: “And it was even harder than usual, because these dice are all wrong.”

APRIL: “My character is Helsia, Warlock Centaur. Worshipper of Loviatar, who drinks Death and Decay.” BEN: “April, this is incredible. When did you write this?” APRIL [CUTAWAY]: “It’s just a character I roleplayed on Twitter before most of the My Little Pony fandom blocked me.”

LESLIE [CUTAWAY]: “I mean, he joined my musicals-only karaoke night. It’s not gonna hurt me to take an interest in his hobbies.” [SCENE: BEN ENTERS WEARING A CAPE AND ELVEN EARS. HE SITS AT THE TABLE] BEN: “Welcome to your imagination.” LESIE [CUTAWAY]: “This might kill me.”

BEN: “Well, what kind of powers sound exciting?” CHRIS: “That’s just it. I’ve already optimized my own dexterity, constitution, and intelligence. I am my power fantasy.” BEN: “Okay… is there anything you would like to be?” CHRIS: “… Gazelle.” CHRIS [CUTAWAY]: “I’m a Druid!”