My phone was just stuck on YouTube with the volume up so now my whole office knows I am 100% that bitch. #Lizzo I mean they were gonna find out sooner or later.

If you don’t drink water in general- quit buying it all during a hurricane! What, you need to be extra hydrated to deal with this state of emergency? Buy you’re Mountain Dew, Dale and get off my water. -actual H2O drinkers in Florida

Not quite Forever then huh?

If being basic is wrong- I don’t want to be right #PumpkinSpice

I am not ashamed of my pumpkin spiciness. ☕️🎃🥤 #PumpkinSpiceLatte

I’m Rancid-Weezer-Greenday-Offspring years old.

I’m Lock Stock and Two Smoking Barrels-Pulp Fiction- Dazed and Confused-Empire Records years old.

I love the songs that make you feel like summer.

Pretty much everyone-So what do you do if you don’t drink? Me-I mainly just remember things, keep my clothes on, and stay out of jail. It’s not bad. You get used to it after a while.

Husband- you want to bang? Me- you want to cuddle? Him- Me- Him- Me- Both- K goodnight.

We lost our little girl yesterday. And I wasn’t prepared for this pain. I loved this baby more than I knew. She was the best girl ever.

Oh wow. He’s full of great ideas.

I didn’t know adult conversations would be mainly made up of I’m so tireds and Can you believe it’s already Septembers?!

Why is it 5 deaths from a mosquito borne illness and we need to stay inside, 5 deaths from vaping and obviously we need to ban vapes, but over 300 deaths from mass shootings this year alone and we aren’t willing to admit its time to take away the weapons that make this possible?

With chagrin Gwyneth realized she still had an egg in as she awkwardly walked across the stage. #Emmys

As I sit at home over Thanksgiving weekend, surrounded by my family, I can’t help but wonder, why the fuck do I keep putting myself through this?

That time I thought going to downtown Cincinnati for X-mas lights was a good family event until my 3 and 4 yo let me know it definitely was not.

The fact that my husband sits next to me while I have an entire conversation with our dogs like it’s normal makes me wonder which one of us is crazy.

Threw my cinnamon broom away today. Couldn’t smell it for shit in the house. Yet somehow the trash can smells glorious.