No he hasn't 🤣

Just got called uncultured when I was literally drinking kefir right in front of them

This just cost me 50p on a meal deal so thanks for that Tesco

Was Boohbah real or was I just having a fever dream?

There once was a man from Limerick - Who wanted to write a new limerick - He couldn't think of a rhyme for limerick - So he just used limerick - It wasn't a very good limerick.

Ladies; when choosing a nice sun hat, please keep in mind the one you pick has already been tried on by 100 dads embarrassing their kids in the store.

parcels

If the lyrics to the national anthem change do the lyrics to Seven Nation Army change with it?

Here Is the full list of things you have heard the word "nursing" being used in relation to: - nursing home - nursing a baby bird back to health - nursing a beer - a semi

Is it better to have small pussy energy or big pussy energy?

What if as well as minimum wage there was minimum raise. Like an amount employers legally have to raise your wage on top of the minimum wage increase every year of working for a company.

When you call a woman a bozo it's actually spelt beauzeau

A very special Happy Birthday to the undoubtedly better hand to hand combatant sibling big dip 🥷

If your name is Elle then in Spanish your name is The

"400 notifications!? Someone has a lot of friends!" No, Susan, I have a lot of anxiety and 4 months worth of unread messages I'm not replying to.

I just invented the "danger rank". when queue times for games are long, increase your odds finding a game by searching in two or three different games at the same time. When one finds a match you then quickly cancel the other searches before youre forced abandon one and lose rank

French people be like "pain au chocolat?" Like bro who tf is gonna pick pain over chocolate?

My cousin's kids just asked me how to spell R2-D2 and that's just lovely.

Scene: in a dystopian future a man is doom scrolling on the shitter. His smart watch buzzes to remind him to move. Reality comes crashing back to him as he realises how long he's been sitting there. This is based on real life events that happened to me just now.

Donald trump got shot