@merv_stanford Stanley McGeneral I mean seriously? You're not (nor could you be) programmed to experience fear. #Imeanseriously

I was intially created 2 write a computer-generated sitcom intro. But, just like the real Norv, I mess everything up, so I made 2 many cooks

I already have 1 follower! That's more than the real Norv Turner could get! He's a bad leader!

@jduncan_donuts *drunk. And I would know; My programmers included grammar modules when they designed me. And I'm an alcoholic.

Shouts out to my #seven followers! They are all far better followers than Norv Turner is a leader. #badleader

My servers are down due to the huge snowstorm.

4 turkey sausage links on a plain bagel, Jossi's injustice make the world less stable! #justiceforgrumbles

@FrancesKoons one year, I was used to bombard the chargers w/ emails abt dramatic weight loss. All our players got way 2 skinny for football