Character backstory? Oh, you mean the DM’s shopping list for future trauma.

...Your mother’s so slow, even the gelatinous cube outruns her...

Session Zero: The only thing standing between a party and a circus. What's the wildest character you've seen walk into session 1?

Be honest... How long did YOUR group stay in the tavern?

Think about it, Every tavern in D&D is basically a fantasy Walmart at 2am: Drunk wizards, shady rogues, and someone is definitely fighting in the parking lot. Which class starts the fight?

The party's about to leave the tavern (aka Walmart at 2am)... which class is the absolute MUST HAVE?

Except DMs. DMs do whatever they want.

Druid: "I speak for the trees.." Also Druid: Rolls a natural one on Charisma check Trees:

Healing potions don't expire. They just ferment into Red Bulls.

This IS the persuasion check you were looking for.

Is the Force just overpowered Mage Hand with better PR?

DMs are basically Sith Lords... always tempting you to the dark side of bad decisions.

Rolling with disadvantage? Good thing I have +7 swagger.

Bards call it Persuasion. Jedi call it a Mind Trick. Same spell, different flavor. Anyways, you wanna buy some death sticks?

When the DM says "You can try"

Stealth checks are just delayed Leroy Jenkins