STATLER: I wouldn't mind the show if they just got rid of one thing. WALDORF: What's that? STATLER: Me.

SCOOTER: Dizzy Gillespie? Dizzy Gillespie, fifteen seconds to curtain, Dizzy! Oh, uh. Say, Diz. Kermit does have one rule for this show. DIZZY GILLESPIE: What's that? SCOOTER: No puppets allowed. GILLESPIE: What? Guess I have to play the trumpet then?

LESLIE: Listen, Lew, what does it take to become a great boomerang-fish thrower? LEW ZEALAND: Well, you gotta have sole. And if you can't get sole, use halibut.

MISS PIGGY: I spied because I care! KERMIT: Well I care, too! MISS PIGGY: Well, why don't you say so? KERMIT: I JUST DID! MISS PIGGY: ALL RIGHT! Happy Valentine's Day, Muppet fans!

"I worked with a lot of people in Hollywood... and they’re not terrible people but you don’t get that same sort of feeling and respect. Jim [Henson] was always great at looking at his employees as equals and not as an underling." Happy Birthday, Kirk Thatcher!

WASHINGTON: Knock knock. LINCOLN: Who's there? WASHINGTON: George. LINCOLN: George who? WASHINGTON: George Washington. ROOSEVELT: Hmm. JEFFERSON: I see. LINCOLN: Very good, George. Happy Presidents' Day, Muppet fans!

"Fraggle Rock is the reason that I became a puppeteer. When I was seven years old, I saw Fraggle Rock, for the first time, and the first character that I remember physically seeing on the screen was Gobo." Happy Birthday, John Tartaglia!

This celebration has begun! Today marks the 30th anniversary of Muppet Treasure Island, so to celebrate, we're sharing some classic quotes from the film all this week. Keep a weather eye out with #MuppetTreasureIsland30!

JIM HAWKINS: I hate my life. GONZO: I hate your life, too. RIZZO THE RAT: If I had a life, I'd hate it. #MuppetTreasureIsland30

GROVER: This town ain't big enough for the two of us. FRED THE WONDER HORSE: I wanna say one word to you - plastics! Happy Lunar New Year, Muppet Fans! Enjoy the year of the horse!

BLIND PEW: Oh a pretty little girl is it? Yes, take me to Billy Bones, ma pet! JIM HAWKINS: You've got it all wrong, there's no Billy Bones here, and I'm not a girl! BLIND PEW: I maybe visually challenged, but I can see you're lying! #MuppetTreasureIsland30

(From Elmo's World: Holidays:) GIRL: I like Ramadan because it makes me feel good that I'm with my family. BOY: Ramadan makes me feel happy to respect my God and my elders. Ramadan Mubarak, Muppet fans!

STATLER: "Take a cruise," you said. "See the world," you said. Now here we are, stuck on the front of this stupid ship. WALDORF: Well, it could be worse. We could be stuck in the audience. #MuppetTreasureIsland30

RIZZO THE RAT: I've gone way beyond afraid. Right now I'm somewhere between bedwetting and a near death experience.

CAPTAIN SMOLLETT: Where to, Captain Hawkins? JIM HAWKINS: To wherever the wind may take us! GONZO: Off to Zanzibar to meet the Zanzibarbarians! RIZZO THE RAT: Oh, brother! Here they go again! #MuppetTreasureIsland30

ROWLF: Usually this bird's a great performer... but tonight, she laid an egg.

GONZO: Are you crazy? That really hurt. FOZZIE BEAR: Oh... Gonzo, I'm sorry. I thought you were a pig. GONZO: Terrific. Terrific. First he clobbers me, then he insults me.

(from PBS' "American Graduate") CHRIS: School was nervous, but it was worth it, because I had a great time. Happy Birthday, Chris Knowings!

NURSE PIGGY: Dr. Bob! This is an operating room. We've got to be serious now. DR. BOB: Why? We've never been serious before.

CHARLIE McCARTHY: I'm sorry, I don't usually talk to frogs, you know. EDGAR BERGEN: Now, Charlie, please. McCARTHY: Yeah, all right. Sometimes I have dinner with frogs though. KERMIT: Oh, well, that's nice. McCARTHY: Yes, they're delicious. KERMIT: Now that's not nice.