I can’t top this

Got home from saying a final goodbye to my grandmother to be greeted by a rotting rat under the deck. Missed you too, DC!!!!! (p.s. neither the city nor my exterminator will remove the rotting rat so if you wanna make some cash lmk, under no circumstance can I handle this rn)

I get the whole controlled substance thing but auto refill is basically assistive technology for those of us with ADHD and the fact that we can’t use that for our stimulants feels like an ADA violation, especially on day 3 of forgetting to call your Dr (bc you’re off your meds!!)

My God. Stop what you're doing and watch this.

Is there anything better on a rainy day than pouring some tea, lighting a candle, and curling up on the couch with a good phone?

“I’m a Minneapolis based pilot for Delta airlines.” “Tell me what a typical workweek is like for you as a stewardess.”

Tesla's board is asking shareholders to approve $56 billion in compensation for Elon Musk. That's enough to give the 15,000 or so workers who will soon be laid off $3.73 million. Each.

Political Twitter used to be my entire personality and now I’m tweeting for the first time in 5 months about missing tonight’s debate because I’m going to see a play #freedom (but also #adderall let’s be honest)

DNC really reclaiming the “Sleepy Joe” nickname with this schedule tonight

Coming out of Twitter retirement to ask if CNN had ever heard of a freakin tripod

"juSt nOt THAT wOmAn"

Feels like they’re missing two obvious ones here: Dug Emhoff and Edward SnowedIn

Give Demi Moore an Oscar for her #GoldenGlobes acceptance speech

Ho hooo not so free2move NOW are we

Washington really said HAIL to the commanders today ❄️

Democrats, stop talking about the illegality of the grant EO. get on Fox News and start screaming: “TRUMP ENDED MEDICAID” “TRUMP KILLED CANCER RESEARCH” “TRUMP AXED FARM SUBSIDIES”

For reference, if these ultra rich people would have paid Kamalas Wealth Tax, it would have only cost them $36 billion *a year* instead of $500 billion in 2 days. 👍