35yo exmos will say shit like: I'm grown now. i drank a caramel frappuccino from Starbucks

thank God for my Mormon upbringing. without it, I would have any personality at all now that I've left

esau sold his inheritance for soup. i sold mine for coffee and premarital sex.

v clever of the lds church leaders to recommend their members do social media fasts after general conference. it's almost like they were trying to keep them from encountering fair criticisms of church topics and policies...

johnny harris is going to be so shocked when he ends up in the telestial kingdom

the work and the glory hole

Christ's atonement paid the debts of those who reject him as his savior too? that's terrible financial stewardship. he should have kept that grace and invested in GME

this is the doctrinal reason mormons aren't christians. they are way too financially savvy to be true disciples of christ

forgive them father for they know not what they do

"christmas lights year round are so trashy" lds temples: hold my sacrament cup

did cosmic skeptic give up veganism?

Joseph Smith after getting laid off from his dad's ginseng import company and staring his treasure hunting lifestyle brand: no man knows my work history

i love to see the temple ill go inside someday remember that your body is a temple

sports twitter

missionaries saying "hi barbie" at their homecoming talk after serving in barbieland

the mormon church teaches you the one true way to dap up the savior

when march madness switches from basketball to mental gymnastics, byu will be an ncaa powerhouse

christian: love the sinner hate the sin christian when women have sex: hate the sinner christian when they have sex: love the sin

congratulations to russel neslon on making maxims hot 100

mormons don't believe in hell, they believe in a special heaven reserved for murderers, liars, and rapists.