Also, I think an asteroid struck Paris. Whoops

Ok, the bomb's been shut off for a little bit and their getting back to drilling. Still don't know why this is necessary LOL!!! Still at the station with Aerosmith girl (still don't remember her name, LOL).

Oh... oh no

The asteroid is real. Its big. Its gonna crash into us. It looks WAAAAAAAAAAYYYY bigger from the sky!!!! SOOOO SOOOORRRRY I SAID IT WAS FAKE!!!! 😭😭😭😭😭😭😿 We all make mistakes LOL!!!! So, guess the world is ending now. I *almost* feel bad for that girl.

WOOOAAAHHHH I JUST REALIZED SOMETHING!!! AEROSMITH GIRL'S DAD IS AN ASTRONAUT!!!! SO ARE MY COWORKERS!!!! AWESOME!!!! I DIDN'T KNOW THE OIL RIG WAS A SPACE STATION IN DISGUISE!!!! MAYBE NEXT TIME I'LL GO TO SPACE TOO!!!! wait... WHY AM I NOT IN SPACE?!?!?! I WANNA GO TO SPACE

😭😭😭I'M IN TEARS RIGHT NOW!!!! AEROSMITH GIRL'S DAD IS SACRIFICING HIMSELF TO SAVE THE WORLD!!!! OMG!!!! HE'S SETTING OFF THE BOMB!!!!!! HOLY CRAP!!!!!! MAJOR PROPS MAN!!!! 🌟🌟🌟 LIIIIIT AAAAFFFFF!!!! WE'LL MISS YOU BRUCE WILLIS!!!! 😿😿😿

YAAAASSSS!!!! BRUCE WILLIS SAVED THE WORLD!!!! OMG!!! THE ASTEROID IS GONE!!!!!! WOOOOOOO!!!!!! HOPE STARBUCKS GIVES AWAY FREE COFFEEEEESSSSS AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Gonna be away for a while, going back home to NEW YORK. Been about a few weeks since I had to move, maybe my apartment will finally have a POOL!!!! YEEAAH!!!! DON'T WANNA CLOSE MY EYES, I DON'T WANNA FALL ASLEEP CAUSE I'D MISS YOU BABE, AND I DON'T WANNA MISS A THAANG!!! 🗽🌇🎸💯

... Wait. If this was real... HOW DID THAT GUY BRING A GUN TO SPACE?!?!?!?!?!?

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