After watching cars™️ 100 times in the last 5 years, I have decided it’s the greatest cinematic experience one could ever have the honour to sit down and enjoy

This the type of shit Twitter was built on

hearing “don't start" gives me a thrill, makes me really want to start

don't look now

Sergei Bobrovsky tonight

I will poop my pants before I ask a teenager to buzz me into a washroom McDonald's 🇨🇦

So I see a lot of people arguing for Canada to become the 51st State and I see a lot of people arguing against it too. Why don't we just meet in the middle and give America Quebec?

DROP KICK ME JESUS THROUGH THE GOAL POSTS OF LIFE

Is any politician going to do something about this? Tim Hortons

When I say I want sandwiches, I don’t mean from a deli, I exclusively want funeral ‘wiches

I am going to drink so many Modelos tonight that ICE may look into deporting me

The cia is putting chemicals in the beer to make me want it every day

wishing i could share this tropical paradise with you DOJA CAT

I get sad at the end of a cigarette

i’m a baseball fan and i support ICE. ice cold beers brother haha am i right fellas

Me watching Carter Bear that first period: #LGRW

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Sergei Fedorov ESPN commercial.