Valentino has a lot to answer for. 3rd pink suit of the night #Eurovision2023

I’ve come to expect a scantily clad hot woman from Cyprus. I guess I’ll have to accept this hot man with half a shirt. #Eurovision2023

What is it with Eurovision and no shoes? No fear of a thumb tac or a bit of Lego #Eurovision2023

What in the Boy Scout? #Greece #Eurovision2023

“Hi it’s UPS. Can you come out and sign for this package?” #Greece #Eurovision2023

I’m seeing a sequinned g -string in the interval and not Kylie. I have been happier #Eurovision

It’s so so lovely to have Graham on stage… next to the jolly green giant #EUROVISION

Could they not have put him on a box like Michael D?

The unoriginal JLo is crowned! #Eurovision2023

The McPlant is excellent and I don’t want to hear any of your negativity.

In Spain trying to practice my Spanish. The cold reality has hit me that I don’t actually speak any Spanish. DuoLingo is like one of those mothers that keeps telling their kids they’re geniuses when they get a C.

There is no one I want to understand more than those people who cling film their suitcases.

Twink watching old clips of Twink is the campest thing I’ve ever seen. I’ve peaked now. Life doesn’t get better. #goggleboxirl

I haven’t been watching tv much with the sprog but what the hell has happened in my absence on Irish telly? Arnie is selling power tools for Lidl and there’s a love island in the fecking Gaeltacht?! Someone could have told me!!

I actually saw Puppetry of the Penis live at the time. I wanted tickets for Bill Bailey for my birthday but my boyfriend at the time went rogue with “something else” #goggleboxirl

When do I get to the stage of parenting where Tom Hardy reads the bedtime stories?

When I was younger I used to think I was tired. I very much was not.

The Irish are historically immigrants. It’s what we do. I’m one sure. Shame some of us have become absolute dickheads. I’m sad for my home town and deeply ashamed today.

Wishing all of my friends a Halloween where their men don’t shave their beards off.

Nothing like a quick login to LinkedIn to make me remember how annoying I find people.