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The craziest thing about the movie Junior isn’t that Arnold Schwarzenegger is pregnant- it’s Emma Thompson is his wife

everyone’s like - in Italian ciao means hello and goodbye- but no one’s like - in English polish is what you do to silverware and also someone from Poland-

cannot confirm or deny the viscous rumours that I have moved into DILF mansion

if Dune was made 15 years ago Pink would have had a cameo

me looking at a picture of a friends baby “the shoes are wrong”

Enjoyed a very accomplished, consistently funny newcomer show to kick off this year’s #MICF: Chris Demos’s ‘Legs In The Pool’. Recommended

Seven shows left for my #MICF debut solo show Legs in the Pool! Tickets at the link! comedyfestival.com.au/2024/shows/leg… Melbourne International Comedy Festival

Mama’s first review 🤩 Chris Demos: Legs in the Pool artsreview.com.au/?p=125450 via Arts Review

daddy strong legs

Alf Pacino

that’s that me grotesque-o

In France a deviled egg is called oeuf mimosa

Katy Perry’s comeback single should have just been a full length version of the Menulog song.

OUT: “making” “dinner” IN: taking the knife and treating myself to a sliver of freshly cut Parmesan cheese 31 times in a row

The minions aren’t even cute

my mule always refused to half pass so my family removed me from the dressage community in shame

sunhass glut

Just heard a dog bark that sounds like my old dog who died in 2019 - jump scar/e