Changed my dating app age sliders to born before 92. I wanna meet someone who remembers WAP for being internet on your phone, not a leak in her basement. #wetassprecocieved

Fireworks in London while being in lockdown is like a stereo experience of a night in Gaza in 2008.

Steve Bannon wanting to behead Dr. Fauci... Easy for someone without a neck to say... #banbannon #USElection2020

Well, I’m shattered. Thanks for all the MILF heavy content guys. #happymothersday #milfs

Fab show AGAIN last night! 🤩 Thanks to everyone who performed, the zoom guests, the voters on fb & those who donated... Congrats to our #minigoldplastictrophy winner Dominic Burrell 🏆🌹 Next show Mon 29th at facebook.com/comedyvirginsl… at 7pm... With headliner @thatlaurasmyth! 😍💋

I am not going to claim money from this so I don’t feel bad asking you to share it/help. Lots and lots of people in comedy are less lucky than me and have had a ruinous year.

Spare a thought for those who have you falling off your chairs pre pandemic. Value those belly laughs and donate today!

Wishing everyone Positive Energy on Brody Stevens birthday! Brody was in the Hangover, cut from Funny People. He was the drummer for the infamous Barris/Kennedy + Overdrive, always using chairs as his instrument. #yougotit #applecidervinegar

Deliveroo couriers can train to spot crimes. While skipping three red lights and hitting a neighbourhood cat. #columboclubsandwich #comedy #oneliners

Orphaned lambs in woolly jumpers warm hearts… This is the story of Australian farmer Tracey Kruger who spread joy with pictures of her rescue lambs in colourful outfits. Presumably the lambs were unaware that they were wearing mum and dad. #lambnotbeef #comedy #Australia

Just posted a photo @ The Camden Eye instagram.com/p/CQyNxFQDsXD/…

Thailand welcomes first quarantine-free tourists. About 250 tourists are expected to arrive on the island of Phuket. #phuketletsparty #fuckit #comedy #oneliners #news #headlines

One of Britain's rarest butterflies saved from the brink of extinction. Conservationists accused of winging it. #wingingit #news #bbcnews #jokes #oneliners #newsjack @NewsjackBBC

Ringo Starr drops trademark court case over “Ring O” sex toys. After realising his name was now after 60 years finally synonymous with a steady rythmn. #RingoStarr #ringorythmns #news #TheBeatles #comedy #oneliners

London Pride cancelled for second year due to Covid fears… Presumably because the LGBTQ+ community are less likely to beat their partners if they don’t get what they want. 🏳️‍🌈<⚽️ #Euroineditfortherestofus.

This week Texas tightened restrictions on abortions laws in the same week they loosened gun laws... Their arguement is that they’re still giving the single mother’s an easy way out. #TexasAbortionBan #Texas #abortion

Just posted a photo @ London, United Kingdom instagram.com/p/CUc6OXejQ1S/…

People trafficker kicked out of UK for third time after being discovered in London… You can’t say he’s not good at his job. #headlines #news #oneliners

Just posted a photo @ London, United Kingdom instagram.com/p/CXJRw0jDiej/…

DENPLAN LAUNCH AT TOOTH-HURTY. #dillianwhyte #tysonfury #dillianwhytetooth #heavyweightfilling