my mom asking me which dress she should wear to surgery this morning was a heartbreak i was not expecting.

ppl think we’re crazy for using a manual lawn mower, but our neighbor is out here in PJ’s with hand clippers trimming the whole perimeter of their front lawn…

pizza is the best breakfast food.

when you think you’ve got a good work relationship established with a contractor then he calls you “sweetheart” ….🙄🙄🙄

you’re telling me a cis teen built this chapel

Is Arizona tea and Arizona jeans one and the same?

casually just have three ribs out of place, all because i tried to breathe.

when i inevitably forget what i want for my birthday in a month someone plz remind me that I want a massage.

I think i’d be an especially bad drunk because i get irrationally angry when dehydrated.

of all the riffs i used to know, hells bells and the solo from god of wonders will never leave me apparently.

the me that hasnt been climbing depleted all the car snacks and now the me that climbs again is hungry and sad.

i just want to be somewhere in the wilderness with my friends and no cell phone service.

sorry I couldn’t respond to ur text, supply chains are soooooo messed up rn

someone come make latkes with me.

IT'S TIME 2021 christian tweet of the year, final round vote in poll below Ike Miller Beth Moore @Jessicaebersole Sean Penn

ive been waiting for these sort of reflections!

you ever just go about your day and suddenly realize your hair is pulled up but you dont remember when or why or how long ago and suddenly become paranoid about inadvertently causing your hairline to recede? just me?