A dozen of eggs currently cost $9

Just insane levels of drip coming from the First Couple this morning 🔥 🇺🇸

When I offer to cover the tab for my friends (I want the Amex points and they’re Venmo’ing me later)

Just me causally eating tacos live on TV while talking about deporting illegal immigrants.

No more men in womens sports This is exactly what America voted for.

This literally deserved an Emmy. White woman violence at its absolute peak. 10/10 no notes.

CEO got caught having an affair at the monsters inc laugh floor

“What? We do this like every Sunday.”

I don't think "he left behind a wife and children" is going to work on people that hate their parents and don't want children.

Me liking every tweet about people getting fired for mocking Charlie Kirk’s death

Liquor before beer, in the clear. Liquor before xanax, escorted out of times square margaritaville by the police

Mamdani had a CASH BAR at his victory party. If you can’t get a free vodka from this guy something tells me the free food and buses ain’t coming. Congrats, suckers.

Kids keep talking about 6-7 wait until yall learn bout 9-5

Fixed it

Even if the Somalian daycare centers are legit, can someone explain to me why the government is giving hundreds of millions of dollars to immigrants for free daycare when middle-class families get absolutely zero childcare help?

Kamala Harris The Biden-Harris administration made available a $25,000,000 reward for information that would have lead to the arrest of Nicolas Maduro. Now you're saying capturing him was unlawful? Did you just entirely forget your administration's policy?

trinity santos every time a mediocre dad enters the er

Despite the heavy snowfall, there will be school on Monday. Put your boots on. No days off.

job applications are dumb. "what’s your desired salary" a billion dollars next question