I Need To Shoot My Phone

Remember when we learned that our wealthiest and most powerful people were connected to a guy who ran a literal child sex trafficking ring? And then that guy died mysteriously in a jail? And now we just don't talk about it.

“who’s gonna get snogged tonight?” “you if you keep asking these fucking questions”

i miss when you could touch a TV and feel its fur

I bet you if Trump met Luigi Mangione in person he would pardon him

Twitter is for people who talk to themselves and enjoy their own company

Why does everyone force introverts to leave their comfort zone, but no one forces extroverts to shut up for a while? Why???

ever since i was a little kid i knew i would be fraught with melancholy and nostalgia

The person who named the fireplace was just fucken sick of naming things

This man fried us. His whistle is golden, but the refs can’t make shots fall. And them mfs was clean falling. HE COOKED US LIKE A HONEY BAKED HAM!!! Goddammit! I hate him lmao.

as someone who has deliberately ran a man over none of you know what it looks like to try and run someone over

i think this is the most uninterested i’ve ever been in ppl in my entire life

crazy this is genuinely one of the best songs ever made open.spotify.com/track/6wOYnPq1…

Hoops

my #1

I Want Obama to wear the tan suit for the funeral

people on twitter can have my instagram but people on instagram cannot have my twitter

Laffy Taffy