my fault for having even an iota of hope or trust in the democratic party

knew my king would never let me down

Oh no he really did the Better Things Aren't Possible meme

The way you can catch yourself planning an instagram grid post weeks in advance, as if it’s some album rollout… how delirious we are with pride, ensnared by the mirror and its reflection

when I say I'm bored I mean I don't have anyone to text in a romantic way. I do like 40 things daily on top of work

Thanksgiving is the best because no matter what happens, it’s a Pulitzer nominated play from 1981. Mom is stressed. Grandpa is rude. And your niece has a terrible secret.

everyone’s seeing sentimental value and hamnet except me

I was in the top .01% of listeners to WOMEN this year

Bloop!

Nothing will make you feel more alien than when a family guy cutaway is about a celebrity you've never heard of.

texas being march omfg

Excommunicate JD Vance and I’ll be at mass next Sunday holy father

You’re lying. There was no attempt to run the officer over and no ICE agents appear to be hurt. Get out of our city.

now watching FINALLY

Hi my name is Top Applicant and I am applying for a job at your organization because I love you

Early last year I approached Rep Gimenez with an offer to work together to protect immigrants in his district & mine. He rudely told me he had his own strategy & walked off. Apparently his strategy was to do nothing for over a year to actually stop this. Miami deserves better.

da movies

i always wanna make fun of adults who are way into the muppets then i remember how i feel about scooby doo

Can't a guy just take $100,000 a year in public money for teaching two hours a week without the lamestream media writing gotcha stories about it?