Bison may look friend-shaped, but they already have all the friends they want. Keep your distance and don't make it awkward.

*first day working for a tree surgeon

“When do we give the trees the anesthesia?”

The murder hornets want us to forget about them. When we forget about them that’s when they strike.

Amused by the optimism of the doctor who thinks it’s possible to take these meds four times a day ON A EMPTY STOMACH

When your college kid doesn’t get the classes they need during registration it can be a major problem. A minor one too.

Suspect is HATLESS. I repeat, suspect is HATLESS.

It’s 2024.

Why aren’t there flying monkey armies?

Ah yeah that tweet went straight to Drafts, where it will live a long a happy life.

Thumb Wars

- A text story

Gluten is the least of your problems, bro.

Whoever discovered Newfoundland was better at discovering places than naming them.

The United States invented a portable sun that can be delivered by aircraft

Ken Griffey Jr had 172 Home Runs by then, what’s your point

I think I'm just trying too hard.

- Me, doing nothing

Your move Florida Man

It’s all fun and games until your neighbor moves and you’re stuck living next to an airbnb party house.

#OnSecondThoughtMaybe “Curious George & The Electric Fence” was a bad idea for a children’s book.

The first summer day in New England should be a paid holiday.

cut off tshirt and jorts season is getting closer

What genius puts a windmill in the middle of a miniature golf course?!