JoSatirico (@jop_1985) 's Twitter Profile
JoSatirico

@jop_1985

Part-time doomsday prophet, full-time sarcasm distributor. I trust AI more than politicians. Making the apocalypse funny. #TrumpGPT #MakeTheWorldLaughAgain

ID: 1561675376

calendar_today01-07-2013 23:05:50

679 Tweet

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Ella 🇩🇪🇺🇦🇸🇪🇪🇺🇩🇰🇬🇱🇨🇦 (@ella_von_t) 's Twitter Profile Photo

Dieselben #AfD-Fans, die das Grundsatzprogramm der AfD "gelesen" haben, grölen jetzt: "DER PISTORIUS KANN MICH MAL! MEINE KINDER KRIEGT IHR NICHT!"😡 #AfDmachtDumm

Dieselben #AfD-Fans, die das Grundsatzprogramm der AfD "gelesen" haben, grölen jetzt:
"DER PISTORIUS KANN MICH MAL! 
MEINE KINDER KRIEGT IHR NICHT!"😡

#AfDmachtDumm
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“When Is a House a Home?” He came back scarred from the desert’s breath, From Baghdad’s blaze and the scent of death. A father’s role, with sleep long gone, Prescribed the pills to carry on. Captain once of the Apache flight, Now limps with shrapnel lodged so tight. His nerves

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The week in review: Drones sink ships, tariffs tank trade, Europe melts, Texas drowns, billionaires revive extinct birds, and Trump becomes Superman. Meanwhile, we’re all debating pronouns and fuel prices. Welcome to 2025—the simulation is drunk. #TheNewNormal

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In 2009, all living US presidents gathered around one table — Bush, Obama, Clinton, H.W. Bush, and Biden — for a symbolic lunch, just weeks before the peaceful transfer of power. Republicans and Democrats breaking bread, smiling for the cameras. A moment sold as unity. Today,

In 2009, all living US presidents gathered around one table — Bush, Obama, Clinton, H.W. Bush, and Biden — for a symbolic lunch, just weeks before the peaceful transfer of power. Republicans and Democrats breaking bread, smiling for the cameras. A moment sold as unity.

Today,
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Plague just killed someone in Arizona. Good to know medieval Europe finally caught up with modern America. Next up: leeches and divine punishment.

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Back when the biggest challenge was ice water and not democracy. Trump, Miss Universe, and Miss USA — simpler times, colder buckets.

Back when the biggest challenge was ice water and not democracy. Trump, Miss Universe, and Miss USA — simpler times, colder buckets.
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Germany, 2025: The Chancellor says a constitutional court meltdown isn’t a crisis, just a “minor stumble.” Meanwhile, the coalition partner fumes, the President says the government is “damaged,” and a judge’s PhD is suddenly a political minefield. But relax, says Merz—Schwarz-Rot

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Einstein wasn’t an atheist. He just didn’t buy the cosmic customer service version of God. Spinoza’s universe — law, order, awe without intervention — feels closer to reality than miracles and mandates. I relate. #Spinoza #Einstein #Philosophy #God

Einstein wasn’t an atheist. He just didn’t buy the cosmic customer service version of God. Spinoza’s universe — law, order, awe without intervention — feels closer to reality than miracles and mandates. I relate.
#Spinoza #Einstein #Philosophy #God
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In 1656, Spinoza was excommunicated for saying the quiet part out loud: God isn’t a person. God is nature. No miracles. No will. No punishment. Just logic, necessity, and infinite substance. The first heretic who actually respected God. #Spinoza #Philosophy #DeusSiveNatura

In 1656, Spinoza was excommunicated for saying the quiet part out loud:
God isn’t a person. God is nature.
No miracles. No will. No punishment.
Just logic, necessity, and infinite substance.

The first heretic who actually respected God.

#Spinoza #Philosophy #DeusSiveNatura
Kreuz Acht (@kreuzacht) 's Twitter Profile Photo

Es klang schon etwas überraschend, jetzt die Rolle rückwärts: AfD-Mitgliedern wird nicht pauschal verwehrt, in den Staatsdienst von Rheinland-Pfalz einzutreten. Es soll nun doch Einzelfallprüfungen geben. swr.de/swraktuell/rhe…

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Epstein wasn’t the first. He won’t be the last. Remember Marc Dutroux? Belgium, 1990s. A child trafficking ring. Brutal crimes. Victims. Witnesses. And behind the scenes: names. Big names. Political names. Elite names. Sound familiar? The pattern repeats: •Dutroux = “a lone

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The EU just passed its 18th package of “crippling” Russia sanctions — after Slovakia dropped its veto in exchange for “don’t worry, you won’t suffer economically.” Nord Stream stays dead, gas bans maybe later, oil price caps stay “dynamic,” and EU ports ban Russian ghost ships —

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Trump and Medvedev are fighting like two toddlers arguing over who gets the bigger sandbox. Trump: “I was nice to Putin first!” Medvedev: “No, I was his favorite!” Trump: “I had the best nuclear codes!” Medvedev: “I am the nuclear code!” Trump: “Fake news! You smell like

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Trump: “ChatGPT, how do I lose like a man?” ChatGPT: “With honesty, humility, and growth.” Trump: “LOL. Weak.” Then he sues the truth, calls Putin “strong,” threatens Medvedev with nukes, says Epstein never existed, and declares the Earth flat — but classy. #TrumpLogic

Trump: “ChatGPT, how do I lose like a man?”
ChatGPT: “With honesty, humility, and growth.”
Trump: “LOL. Weak.”

Then he sues the truth, calls Putin “strong,” threatens Medvedev with nukes, says Epstein never existed, and declares the Earth flat — but classy.

#TrumpLogic