Everyone has a plan until a squid monster bursts out of the cruise captain's chest & they're forced to beat it to death with a monkey wrench

If I had a dollar for every time a schizophrenic has accused me of being an agent of a years-long worldwide campaign of computer hacking, psychic spying, microwave neuralgia laser assaults, forced brain implants and crude psychological warfare I'd have one dollar.

SELF-PUBLISHERS! Want to win a free PAID promotional campaign for your book? Do the following: - Comment with your first name - Retweet this post Re-entries from previous weeks are allowed, only one entry each week. Drawing - December 4th. #SPG #IARTG #ampublishing

If you were going to die, who would you kill? amzn.to/2uGGhtT @BillyDeCarlo1 #asmsg #iartg #amreading #t4us

Every year around Christmas I realize I am only one small twist of fate from basically being Billy Bob in Bad Santa.

I'm taking notes. x.com/WillieHandler/…

I wrote this thing. I don't know what to do with it so I'll just place it here gently. "Lightspeed Larry: The Universe's Most Wanted" on #Wattpad my.w.tt/UiNb/Do9vQ1QYtK