it ain't worth it

MAKE MILK GREAT AGAIN

So the other day I had to call a tow truck The guy thats into feet- "what!?"

I hate to see a Baja Blast outside of Taco Bell. Like girl go home what are you doing here

Did we ever stop Kony?

*putting an orange barrel in my mouth* it’s nerf or nothingness

Confirmed, they know what's funny

You've heard of a "nightmare blunt rotation". Now introducing the Nightmare James Blunt Rotation. It's just me in my room smoking alone spending way too much time finding the worst order to listen to James Blunt songs

Hey Alexa, How illegal is it to re-route city traffic for funsies?

My paint and my brushes

Sorry, I can't right now. Im busy watching every episode ever of How Its Made

Rate my milk

Airports at 5AM are the closest thing to a fever dream that you can get

The ratio of fat Mexican kids to adults in the Raising Canes at 11:26pm on a Wednesday is astounding

Sorry, I can't right now, im stimming

#OverheardInRVA "Yeah I mean he hits me but its not like he's hurting someone that doesn't deserve it"

Don't bother me im busy (jorkin it to the Pho Tay Do mural of the 2 girls in the river, silly style)

Goes to a laundromat and has an existential crisis staring into the void of cycling clothes

If we get a Georgia/Alabama natty im done with college football

Nothing hits harder than a 6:30am airport beer