Somebody just beat me with a rake pls

London Police service treats Broughdale like its Area 51

The Good Place doesn’t get the respect it deserves, it makes The Office look like the Big Bang Theory

Cuffing season is just summer flings with seasonal depression and carbs

You can’t say this and not tell the story, no half assed drags here on twitter dot com. If you put someone on blast you gotta go all in

My favourite part about election day is that whatever dumb jokes i tweet out are instantly drowned out by everyone incoherently screaming at each other

My biggest regret is not being friends with more Music majors because I know none of my friends are ever gonna have a band i can tour with to make myself seem fun and important

Is it too late to learn to ride a horse

At this point its looking like the only person on my Christmas list is going to be my bookie, sorry mom and dad

Pics someone posts vs tagged posts is like the internet version of beer goggles

Starting petition to get an NFL team in our beautiful city of London Ontario NFL two birds one stone

Anyone who uses monkey emojis is mentally 12 years old

Guess that Highschool Musical money finally ran out

90% of Western: spends fall break partying on beaches in Miami or LA Me: Just pulled a muscle in my face yawning after studying all day

If anyone bought Disney+ and wants to sauce a login, slide in these dms

Disney Plus and hit me with a bus

I am crying