When I die, the only song I want played at my funeral is the sound of the turbo spooling up on a 14.9L Cummins

Anyone got a farmers almanac or an 80 year old man close by? What's it mean when every coyote in the neighborhood is running around in the middle of the day? Bullshit answers will be entertained as well.

This tweet aged like a sauerkraut fart.

Oh you got "fuck you" money? I'm not gonna be impressed till you got pistachio money

Ever have a dream feel real? Ever have a dream feel so real that you try to book a last minute flight to Vegas while still half asleep in the middle of the night?

My neighbors must be nuclear powered. Not sure how you can get loaded into an ambulance that many times and still be alive.

The lady at the home center looked down at this and said "I shouldn't be selling you this combination, your dumbass will find a way to get arrested because of it." The lady was my mother.

I swear to fuck I'm a magnet for these guys

Geese are back and skunks are out. Gonna be nice having harvest wrapped up by rockfest.

If you went to that God awful buckcherry and skid row concert and decided that it needed to be snapchatted, im coming to your house this weekend and lighting bags of dog shit on fire on your porch.

Guessing 1 small lighter, 1 big lighter, and a knife

I stuck with this longer than I should have. Day 617 and the toaster is finally back to the optimal level of toastiness.

In case you were curious, if you're an MC at a wedding and make a joke about the groom and a groomsman getting paid by a bunch of bankers to "work" on epstein island you won't get boo'd off stage.

One of the most annoying things about getting a new phone is teaching autocorrect how to swear again.

Got 5000 km on this month all over mb and sk. And I just got 1 question. Why are white women so hell bent on dying in a car wreck?

Jasper National Park has been my backyard and my playground for 35 years. There isn't a trail in the park that I haven't hiked. During those 35 years I've seen a lot of mismanagement, but nothing like I've witnessed during the last decade. I've ranted about it it all my

OK, which one of you degens from upcountry stole all the pullout signs off of #10 through rmnp?

Bad day to be a walleye