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I just stood by the coffee maker patiently waiting for a nice warm cup of filtered water in case you’re wondering how my morning is going.

Missed opportunities. 😢

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😂😂😂 I remember...

Grilled NY Strip with Rosemary Finishing Salt and Sweet Potato

“BROOKS WAS HERE” is one of the most iconic and heartbreaking scenes in film history.

Jet

Filet (slightly overcooked) with yakiniku sauce and fried rice.

Does anyone else find it at least a little humorous that the nation who is always screaming, “<insert country> must never have nuclear weapons!” is also the only country in history to have ever used them? Fucking love this place! 🇺🇸🇺🇸🇺🇸🇺🇸🇺🇸

Well hello, Satan.

This is awfully weird. Democrats are now galvanized more than ever, yet have no money. So who has been funding them? Has part of my paycheck been going to them this whole time?

Americana Pipedream Apparel

American people: “Look, Congress, you’re spending us into an economic disaster. Could you please stop?” Mike Lee: “Hmmm. Best we can do is sell off your remaining touchable grass to house your replacements.”

HP and Bib.. oh the twisted games they play.

This is a banger

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So…that’s all of them, yeah?

🚨🚨 BREAKING: Federal district judge in Colorado orders the Trump administration to put the tectonic plates back in their previous positions.