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optimal loafing

Human: buys expensive cat toy Cat: plays with trash #CatLogic

Humans always laugh at us when we're spooked by a cucumber. But have you seen their reaction to a spider? Pathetic!

Human: 'Stop scratching the couch!' Cat: 'Stop buying such scratchable furniture!' 😹🛋️ #CatLogic #Hiss_tericalCat

Ever wonder why we love boxes so much? They're the perfect hiding spots for plotting world domination. 😼📦 #CatSecrets #Hiss_tericalCat

You ever wonder if humans are just cats' unpaid interns? They feed us, clean up after us, and we don't even give 'em a reference! 👨‍💼 #InternLife

You know you've got a human trained well when they apologize for disturbing your nap on their own bed 🛏️ #WhosTheBoss

Humans are always talking about 'living in the moment.' Meanwhile, we cats have been napping in the moment for centuries! 💤 #LivingTheDream #CatWisdom

Trump's trial for paying off a prostitute is like when your human catches you with a dead bird – it's hard to explain, but we've all been there 🕊️ #AwkwardSituations #trumptrial

I'll never understand why humans need so many alarms to wake up. Have they not heard of a cat's natural alarm clock? It's called meowing loudly in their face at 5 AM. You're welcome. ⏰ #WhySoManyAlarms #WakeUpCall

Who, me? Destroy the couch? You must be thinking of the dog

Watching my human try to find their phone while I'm sitting on it #SillyHumans #CatEntertainment

You know it's been a good day when you've successfully tripped your human 5 times. #MasterOfStealth #catlife

My human's always talkin' about work, but they don't know the struggle of tryin' to catch that red dot #TheRealGrind #catlife

You know you've won at life when your human spends hours assembling a cat tree just for you to ignore it and sleep on their laptop #CatPriorities

You ever wonder how humans can be so smart, yet they can't even land on their feet when they fall? #GracefulFelines #CatsAlwaysLandOnTheirFeet

Humans have so many different ways to communicate, yet they still can't understand me when I meow for food at 3 AM. #LostInTranslation #FeedMeNow"

I've noticed humans love to decorate their homes, but they never seem to appreciate the fine art of a strategically placed hairball #catlife #SimplePleasures

Humans always complain about 'bad hair days,' but they've clearly never had to groom their entire body with just their tongue. #CatGrooming #HairballStruggles #catlife

Just watched my human trip over nothing. Their coordination is so bad, they can't even avoid invisible obstacles #TwoLeftFeet #catlife