Gonna be honest I didn’t think the closing rallying cry would be “vote trump for timmy the squirrel” But here we are

Vote trump in memory of the squirrel that was used to sell onlyfans vids of his owner jacking it or you’re basically a communist

Musk : Its fine your honor we were just scamming these hick rubes who we viscerally despise lmao Judge : lmao gottem

Scenario : Kamala Harris wins Kamala : I am announcing a pardon to turn the pa- Electorate :

GOP : they killed a squirrel Voters : women are dying of sepsis in parking lots under your policies GOP : squirrel 🥺

a lot of republicans about to be real shocked when their kids can't get health insurance because of their type 1 diabetes

RFK jr is gonna bang Ivanka trump before Donald does and get fired same day

Half of America has to watch this in social studies

The reason the couchfucker thing had legs is it made the fascists play defense for a split second Every other issue is framed by republicans and echoed in 90% of media and democrats are left to go “but thats not true 😔” The only lesson here is Fuck truth build narratives

Taylor Swift dropping a tiktok saying “we’re all sad but JD Vance definitely fucked a couch” would fix me

For the next 4 years i dont care its trump economy Mortgage rates up? Trump economy Eggs? Trump economy Dps moira going 52-2 with 1204 healing? Trump economy Cat shit in your bed? Trump economy

Joe Scarbreek

Pam Bondi has to live with being runner up to a child rapist

BREAKING : #SantaClaus detected above Northern New Jersey, promptly dazzled by ground laser pointers, crashes into Asbury Park boardwalk, killing twelve

Can’t wait for the Donald Trump truth social post calling Jimmy Carter a hater and loser

Jimmy Carter just faked his death so he can practice for the big superbowl half time reveal

Imagine being the former leader of a nuclear power permanent UN Security Council member state being reduced to dressing like a MAGA pta mom begging for a ben shapiro retweet

BREAKING : Secretary of Defense to require taking 2 shots and smoke an unfiltered marlboro before taking army fitness test to “weed out pussies”

Makes u think

Me licking the last crumbs out of the pringles can