A succession of erotic bots have followed me over the past few days. And then Dr Peter Caddick-Adams #StandwithUkraine . Who may also be an erotic bot at times, but it would only be a side-gig as my g-g-g-grandchildren say.

Took a long time to forgive the Israelis for bombing the King David Hotel. I know the creme brulee wasn't burned enough on top, and salads had caterpillars, but everyone has teething troubles Menny Begin liked his dessert too much, and one collapsed souflee was enough for him.

Proud to have fought alongside James Cleverly🇬🇧 in the Imperium Of Man. Admittedly, I was a little delayed in the frontal assault on the warmaster Horus, and saw him cut down. But all that experience will make him an excellent leader of the Party.

Delighted to see my good friend Donald J. Trump re-elected. I look forward to working with him, particularly on international affairs, of which both he and I have had many.

Looking forward to taking up my good friend Elon Musk 's offer to be the first British General in space. Elon will bring peace and fertility, (much, much fertility) to the universe.

While helping old Dicky Bingham leave the country in '74, my old friend John Aspinall said 'Flashy, the problem with democracy is all the voting. Get rid of that, and the whole thing will work.' And this morning, he's proved right. Luckily thats what Donald J. Trump will do.

It all went wrong when we gave women the vote, of course. Can't have a small state when the little women want help with the washing, or whatever it is the housemaid does.

Glad to be on a call with my friends Donald J. Trump and Elon Musk about Ukraine; suggested quick march on Moscow, 'like the charge of the light brigade, very successful operation'. Elon in favour if they enter city in cybertrucks. Asked me to lead. Sadly, busy that weekend.

Did ask Elspeth to run off a few mimeographs of Ukrainian women for Donald J. Trump --do feel if he thinks there's a fine filly there, he'll be more likely to be sympathetic.

Of course, as my good friend Owen Jones points out, if the Jews of Germany in 1938 hadn't been being provocative, by opening shops, walking about and...being generally alive, they never would have been targeted.

No, no, not going on the great farming march. Lots of farmers' wives left at home will need some company in rural Leicestershire