“Blizzard” of ‘22 Biggest Glen Ellyn Disappointment Since ‘07 Glenbard West Barbershop Quartet’s Failed Defense of ‘06 State Title; “The whole town was ready, excited at what everyone thought was inevitable…then nothing.” Said a Longtime Glen Ellyner, “Same for the blizzard.”

Sanctuary Crucifix Reminds St. Pet’s Worshipers of Important Lessons of the Holidays; Sacrifice, Forgiveness, and the Importance of a Sick Core Workout Routine; “Jesus Christ! Look at Jesus Christ’s abs!” Savior Credits Strict Diet of Bread & Fish, Treading Water Workouts

Reusable Holiday Gift Bag Industry Scoffs as Overflowing Garbage Bin Crisis Reaches Critical Stage at Homes Across Village; “Perfect Storm” of Christmas, Christmas at the End of the Week, Gluttonous Lifestyles, Monday Holiday Combines to Strain Capacity

In The Trough’s New Point/Counterpoint Series, We Weigh the Opinions of Two Glen Ellynonians as They Discuss Just Some of the Important Issues that Impact Us All; Today’s Topic, Cars that Stop on Park, Main, or Prospect After Crossing the Tracks

Neighbors Concede Defeat in Three Hundred Block of Sunset Ave. Christmas Card Off as Card From Family Wishing Neighbors “Merriest Christmas” Takes Holiday Cheer to Unsurpassable Levels; “Wow. They really did it. How can you get merrier than ‘merriest’? You can’t,” Admits Neighbor

U.S. Post Office Announces December 30th as Last Official Day to get Holiday Cards to Your “A-List” Friends in the Mail; If You Receive Cards Postmarked After the 30th You’re on the Sender’s B-List” You Loser

White Family Trades White Christmas in Glen Ellyn for White Sands of Florida Panhandle; Experiences White Trash Version of White Lotus

Grandparents Who Offered Grandkids Payouts for Good Grades Struggle to Decipher D41 Report Cards; “Is a 3 good? He’s got 34 of them…a dozen 4s…eight 2s. I can’t figure this out.”

Coyote Just Struttin’ Down Bryant Like He Fuckin’ Owns It

Changing of Bathroom Hand Towels Signifies Official Start of MacKenzie’s Birthday Week; “It goes orange pumpkin towels, brown turkey towels, red Santa towels, then white towels with a cake. Those are the birthday ones!” Exclaimed Kenzie; Pink for Valentine’s on Deck

Leonard Memorial Funeral Home Forced to Issue Apology After Supposed Well-Intentioned Holiday Greeting Misses the Mark; CEO Leonard, “‘We’re looking forward to working with you!’ Was probably not the best messaging we could have used.”

Lucille Starting to Worry About Terra Costa-Howard and Stefanie Hood; “I used to get postcards from them every day, sometimes twice. They seem like such nice girls, but they don’t write anymore. I hope they’re OK.”

With the Announcement of Spring/Summer Concerts Coming to Chicagoland, Rob’s Plain Black T-Shirt Expected to Get Much Use; Rob, “Styx, Mellencamp? Heck yeah!” Son Braydon, “He’s afraid he’ll get made fun of at the show if he wears his usual Lululemon quarter-zip.”

Area Kids Brace for 8 Weeks of Disgusting Family Meals and Crabby Parents as Annual “Rise Challenge” Kicks Off; “Hemp hearts? Collagen peptides? What the hell is this stuff? They make bad dietary decisions for 44 weeks and we have to pay the price?” Kenzie, 8

Nextdoor.com Completely Crashes as Photo Showing Two (2) Foxes, or, Possibly Coyotes Frolicking on Frozen Lake Ellyn Posted; Site’s Biggest Meltdown Since Gladys, Glendale Heights Asked “Why all the sirens at Burdette and Main Street GE” Back in April ‘21

In the Trough’s Point/Counterpoint Series, We Weigh the Opinions of Glen Ellynonians as They Discuss Just Some of the Important Issues that Impact Us All; In the Second Edition, We Highlight Youth Sports From a Fan’s Perspective.

Embracing Diversity: Jewel Osco Expands Ethnic Food Section to Include Both Refried Beans AND Soy Sauce

Family Dinner Deemed “Huge Success” as Four Members Remain at Table for 15 Consecutive Minutes Before Retreating to Four Separate Corners of House to Watch Four Separate Programs on Four Separate Streaming Services for Next Four Hours

That’s a Wrap…for Now. A Big “Thank You” to Everyone Who Follows Us, and an even Bigger Thanks to Those Who Went the Extra Mile and Unfollowed Us. The Trough’s Critically Acclaimed* 2nd Season was a Huge** Hit. But Don’t Take it From Us. Hear What Our Actual Readers Had to Say;