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@WilkyWoo Nope, am aboot. Sort of. Going to Ukraine soon. Avec bump. And causer of bump. When is good for you?

Spend a few days in a field: have lost phone, have not read papers, am bewildered by London. Why on fire?

Husband is surprised am on Twitter. Laughed at me when I said 'what? I Tweet'. Feel silly.

@MrsSPannell amazing, send me some!

Have been away for too long. Too many inane thoughts for facebook to satisfy, hello Twitter. Welcome to my brain. Again.

@danielmoyler I leave twitter for a bit and come back to find that i've ignored you. Sorry. The bump has gone. The baby has landed.

Over breakfast, planning our day and John says 'I have to watch One Tree Hill today'. Big GIRL.

@danielmoyler Yes. And she's currently hysterically giggling at her father saying 'hi i'm daddy'. The idea is indeed ludicrous.

Dirty man upstairs doing dirty things with lady who is not his girlfriend. When i'm trying to sleep. I want to wash my ears and my soul.

@danielmoyler I just liked it cos it's pretty.

Spent days making organic, sugar free baby food. Friend stuck finger in chocolate and stuck finger in baby's face. DAMAGED BABY CHOCOLATEBAD

God bless JK Rowling: gladly paying taxes bc 'when my life hit rock bottom [the welf state]was there to break the fall' ind.pn/MJybFE

@WilkyWoo that's a hell of a lot better than my brownies for breakfast effort.

My mindset is one of a lady who is trying to lose baby weight. But my hands keep putting brownies into my mouth. fail.

So the Olympics are defeating feminism by blowing up huge, faked, photos of women who don't eat in sexy outfits. Well done.

So sad it's over. Well done to USA for winning. And Grenada. The Father must love seeing his kids getting together like this

Apparently I now live in Ukraine. But mainly I exist in cyberspace. And my keyboard won't do a hashtag.

Hello Twitter, i'm back again. Like a dog returning to my own verbal vomit. And yours.