Can you die from listening to your kid tell you about a dream they had? Because it feels like you could die from it.

Queue is such a great word. The actual important letter, and then four more silently waiting behind it in a line.

🎨 The best way to see Van Gogh's "Starry Night" is to stare at the center of the spiral for 20 seconds and then look at the painting. RT when it works for you.

So, let’s get this straight, we borrow a ton of money and give it to really wealthy people who don’t need it. And HOPE that they decide to invest that money in the UK rather than do what they always do, which is bury it offshore or buy another yacht. And THAT is the plan??

QPR have remained unbeaten during the full term of a UK Chancellor of the Exchequer for the first time in our history. 😀

Krishnan Guru-Murthy has been taken off the air for calling Steve Baker a c**t , not realising it had been recorded. He apologised immediately. Steve Baker has helped to bring the country it’s it’s knees and has never apologised RT if you think Krishnan should be reinstated

I wonder if the Man City team and fans would consider bringing us back some tomatoes?#tomatoes

Squirrel for lunch I reckon.#squirrels

I've just signed The Mirror's 38 Degrees petition calling on @bbc to re-instate Gary Lineker to #motd #BringBackGary #ImWithGary - please sign and RT you.38degrees.org.uk/petitions/rein… via 38 Degrees

RT if you want me to become the next MP for Uxbridge & South Ruislip.

Toby Young HATES this photo and blocked me for tweeting it at him (repeatedly). He’s managed to get it off Google search results, so now I can only find it in my own old tweets- by searching the EXTREMELY upsetting sentence ‘Toby Young naked Louise Raw’ 😱😱😱😱😱

30p Lee Anderson told Asylum Seekers to f*ck off if they don’t like the barges. We don't like him on TV if you want him to F*ck off RT and Like this post. Let’s see what PEOPLE actually think about the deputy leader of our ruling party.

I chaired an AI summit to show off my IT knowledge, just weeks after claiming I couldn’t access my WhatsApp messages.

Retweet if you think Wales should make all the decisions about Wales.

💛WIN A BOLLARD💛 The most popular competition in the history of Twitter is back. It's the prize you've all been waiting for. RT and follow to be in with a chance of winning this gorgeous Monoscape Bridgeford Smooth Grey Concrete Bollard worth £252.42. #WorldBollardAssociation

I can’t stop thinking about this…

Susan Hall v Count Binface Who would you vote for? RT for Count Binface Like for Susan Hall

Viz Comic Turdis

Nye Bevan, founder of our NHS was born today, 127 years ago. A LOT has changed since 1948, but we're still here fighting for a fully public and properly funded NHS, and we always will be. Are you with us? RT if you are 💙