Events where I would bring home the gold if it was an Olympic sport: 1. Parallel Parking 2. Cheesy Dad Moves Dancing 3. Marathon Driving 4. Dad Jokes - Impromptu Situations Challenge

BREAKING: Early poll results are in for Michigan 👀

Apple pie and coffee

Fast away the old year passes Fa-la-la-la-la la-la la la Get a movin’, shake your… eh never mind

Modded Detroit will highlight its growth from a grassroots network of young buffs into a staple of local car culture when it joins the Detroit Auto Show this week. metrotimes.com/detroit/young-…

If I was coach, I’d be telling my defense of we’re going to a penalty for brushing up against him, then hit him hard and make him feel it.

UPDATE 🚨 Remember the surgeon who was PULLED OUT OF SURGERY to speak with UnitedHealthcare so they could try and cancel her cancer patients inpatient stay after surgery? UnitedHealthcare DID CANCEL THE HOSPITAL STAY and now they’re THREATENING HER, she’s showing the proof

I didn’t need puppy-monkey-baby to make a reappearance.

You know, I’m beginning to think that these missions are rather possible.

Anyone in Michigan can tell you that second sentence is BS. Warm, flat Vernors Soda is the best for an upset stomach.

AKA Vacation, please gen-z quit amplifying everything.

Unpopular opinion: Goonies isn’t that good. 98% of the time someone quotes this movie, its that same dang line.

I did one of the #midwestern things last night. We were out of napkins in the house, so I went to my car and grabbed some fast food napkins.

Humans are being systemically poisoned across the years all in the pursuit of large corporation profit.

First gig in a while, and first time on the Lager House Stage! This Saturday night in Detroit. facebook.com/events/s/darkn…