"Again, I am so sorry for my cat's behavior."

My favorite advertising trick is “You deserve it!” Makes me actually laugh out loud every single time.

Second-half-of-life religion is a mystical matter. It’s letting God’s great and perfect love drive out any fears and meeting God as “Mercy within mercy within mercy.” #ThomasMerton ow.ly/D4ql30o2SDj

All the feels...

“Let’s go inside and put on some Reggae music!” -my 3 year old ???

The three year old just informed me that the landscaper in our yard has a stick of jerky in his back pocket and the one two houses down has his shoe untied. Can’t get anything past this guy.

MJ I quit listening to true crime podcasts because I was having wild nightmares about being chased/kidnapped. So I started listening to Dave Ramsey for something more uplifting. Then I had a nightmare about financing $80k SUV on a whim😅

When a random cat chooses my house as their new hangout, I feel honored...but also a little suspicious.

Pinterest seems to think that I’m a pear-shaped career woman but nothing could be further from the truth.

So heartwarming when my four year old pretends to make me an iced quad espresso.

There are five kinds of people in this world: People who give 5 star reviews, people who give 4 stars, people who give 3 stars, people who give 2 stars, and people who give ONE STAR!!!

Apparently I have Tennis Elbow. Anyway...Mitch Hedberg fans know how I feel about this.

My four year old is trying to convince me to go to Abby’s by telling me they have a Filet-O-Fish there for me 🤦‍♀️

Two occupations where you could crush all competition by simply not being off-the-charts judgy and condescending: Dentist, Veterinarian. I’m sure there are others.

Just realized I haven’t been told I look like Melissa Joan Hart in over a decade. Not sure what I’m doing wrong.

Me: *Sneezes twice The four year old: “Why are you feeling so.......BLESSED!”

Dog Hopes He Doesn’t Get Stuck With Chatty Groomer Again bit.ly/3ncXeqY

Report: Majority Of Psychological Experiments Conducted In 1970s Just Crimes bit.ly/2MGG2MA

“Everyone who has to contend with unbelief should be advised that he ought not to take his own unbelief too seriously. Only faith is to be taken seriously; and if we have faith as a grain of mustard seed, that suffices for the devil to have lost his game.” -Barth on doubt