‘Unfortunately some vandals have sworn all over my car again’

‘Why do BIRDS suddenly appear... no that’s too high.’

‘Disused cotton mills and legalised hardcore pornography are a million miles away from your thoughts as you negotiate the Norfolk Broads’

‘Amazing the number of people who still think the petrol cap to a Ford Focus is on the offside rear’

Happy #GaudeteSunday!

My call for a 'Fish and Chips Tsar' to encourage domestic fish consumption

‘Fernando, you're 22 years old and you're spending your afternoon in bed with a girl, you're wasting your life. It's a beautiful day. Take her out to a local fort or a Victorian folly.’

‘Don’t sing, Susan! It sounds baaaaad!’

Now this is one for Ecclesiastical Alan dioceseofnorwich.org/vacancy/chapla…

‘JURASSIC PARK’

‘Lynn, you couldn’t present a cat.’

‘That’s a tough one. I think I’d have to say ‘The Best of the Beatles’’

‘There’s no point finishing the sentence Lynn because I am not driving a Mini Metro’

‘No thanks, I don’t want to be part of your sex festival.’

Norwich Cathedral Ecclesiastical Alan

"Are you wearing Lynx?' 'Well smelt- Voodoo.'

"We discuss issues. Europe, conspiracy theories, what happens if you just eat crisps. Things like that."

"Look Lynn, if you had taken the trouble to watch 'Boob Olympics', as I have, then you’d realise there is a competitive element."