Twitter Beğeni Hilesi

Why Alexander the Great look like he played lacrosse at Yale and now works wealth management at UBS

“Let’s go out tonight, nothing crazy, just a few beers.” Me at 4 am

When you’re in the uber back to her place and she asks what her name is

Donald trump is the funniest political American has ever seen

Doing cocaine at the Cheesecake Factory with my friends

It’s Friday and pookie is looking absolutely fire

How it feels to ghost a girl after telling her that you may be in love

Rizz

Dinner is served

My kid just turned 4. Happy birthday bud!

“How drunk are you getting tonight?” “Retarded drunk” “How retarded?” Me:

Girls are crazy like my bad I was drunk

I would commit war crimes for her

📍 Mykonos

7 am in Mykonos, drunk as fuck, w a blonde Italian who barely speaks English

Until next time Mykonos ✌️

“He uses the word retard”