At this point, our best hope is for a Battlestar Galactica type situation to happen where Cylons attack the earth and the whole line of succession is killed up until, uh...Miguel Cardona becomes president?

This is all because I didn’t pledge that $5 she kept asking for, isn’t it

I bet $100 he dies of an aneurysm while straining to shit in a golden toilet before the inauguration.

Ultimately, Chump has been elected god emperor because TV studios didn’t want to give writers a raise in the 2000’s.

He's not wrong youtube.com/shorts/JaDeK5e…

I feel like the day after the election, the daily rhetoric jumped backwards 15-20 years. All of a sudden it's all "People turned RW to get revenge on The Elites" and "I wish Jon Stewart would run for office". We're reaching back decades for old ideas?

This is purely, purely anecdotal, but literally every person I've ever known who says "I would vote Democrat, but I can't afford to" is someone who has lived off of inherited money their entire life.

Democrats: Move to the right NYT, day after Chump wins: It must have been that he somehow captured Americans sense of economic anxiety? Democrats, days after Chump wins: transgender athletes are a big problem, amiriteguys?

Try to imagine a man making a joke about being in love with his niece.

I feel so bad for Journalists who have to Come up with a new way of saying “Chump nominates unqualified yes man for cabinet position” every morning

Trader Joe's and NYT are telling us that literally anything with black pepper in it is Cacio e Pepe.

Quark would be significantly more qualified than the rest of Chump's cabinet.

Remember Twitter used to be funny and clever and then that premature ejaculator took over and it’s now just people saying “OMG, Idiocracy was a documentary” and thinking it’s clever? Bluesky is Twitter when it was pleasant.