Auf geht's, Leute! #GERSWE

Nice try, Pennywise Stephen King

There is only one true goat.

Dafür dass wir kein Italientrauma haben fühle ich mich aber schwer heile gerade #GERITA

I swear I did not make that up. #KOESCF #effzeh #Spitzenreiter

For heaven's sake, can someone please finally call Sean Hannity? Donald wants to use his phone-a-friend #debates

They even misspelled "amateur"

Wolf Blitzer needs to extend his vocabulary. Right now. #ElectionDay

240 years of freedom. It was a nice run. #ElectionNight Patton Oswalt

Historic Development: white male wins presidency #ElectionNight

As far as #thanksgiving NFL match-ups go, Cowboys vs Redskins kinda takes the pumpkin pie.

Oh no, it's #SuperBowl Sunday and I ran out of quart-bags

Bookmarky Bookmark #InternetHipHop After Midnight

President Trump has said he inherited "a mess" as president. Here's a snapshot of the country before inauguration: n.pr/2kRwGKp

Thread of truth. x.com/kumailn/status…

All the other Batmen should go to Adam West's funeral, like when a former president dies.

About to kick off an exciting new season with the National Symphony. Benvenuto, Signor Gianandrea Noseda! #NSOGala @NSOtweets

The troops landed in this image are from the 1st infantry division, a whites only unit. He wouldn't have been allowed on that boat. Some food for thought. x.com/TomiLahren/sta…

I wrote a very short story