Don't you hate when you buy a bag of packaged air and there's chips inside it? Pisses me off.

When our phones fall we panic, but when our friends fall we die of laughter.

Twinkle twinkle little star I want to hit you with a car Throw you off a tree so high Hope you break your neck and die

Using y = mx + b to measure the slope of that ass.

I'm not funny. I'm just really mean and people think I'm joking.

hom(ew)ork

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