Are you horsefucking me

Until I see the Vikings on the field in Philadelphia on Sunday with Mike Zimmer holding up a copy of that day's New York Times as proof of life I'm not going to believe the NFL won't overturn the game in favor of the Saints and Drew Brees and Hurricane Katrina.

Here's a clip of Cannon Falls native CAITLYN SMITH on Jimmy Fallon last night. She'll be at Turf Club week from tomorrow, 1/25. bit.ly/2B9Z4Qb

Happy birthday Kid Rock.

The Golden Knights' success is a function of socialism and I won't be a part of it.

I get this tweet a lot. It's always fun to open it up and see exactly which one of my tweets it's referring to. Like a "that's ignorant" advent calendar. x.com/Vruno/status/9…

Noam Chomsky is from Philadelphia.

If they called it a fumble on the field then why did they blow the whistle

Cheaters often prosper.

My kids asked my mother which one of her grandkids is her favorite, so she told them. She just matter of factly told them. And now they are horrified. If you don't want an honest answer don't ask the question. That's a good life lesson for you little shits.

My ancestors could've stayed in the old country. They could've stayed out east. Or they could've kept the covered wagon rolling and settled out west. But no. They stopped in Minnesota and I became a Vikings fan. I want to travel back in time and punch those stupid assholes.

I used to have obnoxious neighbors who would come over and get drunk so I would shut off all my lights and sit quietly in the dark so they wouldn't think I was home. Minneapolis, you have time to do this.

Recently it has become even more clear that the city of Philadelphia and Dave Hakstol are a perfect marriage.

"The Leftovers" - John King's 5 Ideas to bring energy back to Mariucci Arena and Gopher hockey. bit.ly/2DJoadY

I don't understand fried chicken sandwiches. The chicken is already breaded but then you put it on more bread? I mean I love bread. And I love sandwiches! But the ratio is off. Balance is important. Just eat fried chicken. Not everything has to be a sandwich. Balance stuff idiot.

Don't even think about it, XFL. Stay off my property.

This should be fun.

Okie dokie. x.com/maximmike/stat…