I could watch this on repeat all day.

$cam

This sounds like a way better job than my current one.

OH: "If you saw her in Wizards of Waverly Place, you would fall in love with her too"

OH: "The thing is, selfie stick is SO AMAZING. You don't need a photographer, you save so much money"

Just saw a guy on an iPhone 6s with a T9 keyboard. What the what?

Well, now I understand how they spread so quickly...

OH: "What does cream have again? Sandwich cookie?"

.Lyft driver asked me my destination, then called me back pretending he got pulled over so I would cancel instead of him. real professional

What better way to celebrate the 4th than with some good ol' Murica?

OH: The best way to get rid of peanut butter, is to get really high and then eat all the peanut butter.

OH: So I haven't had an intervention yet so I'm not an alcoholic. When someone says something about your drinking, then you are alcoholic.

Hey Lyft, got a driver Gurjit in an accord 7MNP550 who hasn't moved to pick me up and refuses to cancel the ride. Thank God Uber is around

OH: "Either you're married or you're single. No ring? You're single."

Thanks UPS. Apparently because I am Asian my last name MUST be Wong (courier never asked for a name).

.@uber had a driver refuse to drive me to the airport, and cancelled before starting the trip so I cannot find him in the app to complain

OH: "Fuck I should move to Bali. It's 10 temperature lower."

Just realized Planet Earth II released their first episode. Best Sunday night gift ever.

What better way to spend Christmas Eve than with the WWE of muay thai fights?

TIL AT&T has the worst techs, clipped one pair off my existing webpass install to autonegotiate the link to 100mbps instead of 1gbps