Gut instincts only.

I show up at the fancy Neapolitan pizza place. I think “I’m an adult. It’s commonly done throughout the world. I’ll bet it’s actually good. I’ll order it.” Folks, I’m on Team Ninja Turtle. Don’t get the pizza with anchovies. It’s just not worth it.

Gang members are so lucky to have something to do with their hands in photos

Meet the New Centrist Democrat Copying Zohran Mamdani This is incredible frank cappello

That’s an entire hot day hotter than a hot day.

Lots of conjecture out there, but I heard he just wanted to pick her brain about going to space.

It’s a hard fall from the top. Welcome to the patch of dirt in my building’s courtyard.

i’m shocked the tesla diner has a kids menu since nobody who would eat there has custody.

One of these deep clean videos, but at the end it turns out it’s this rug.

“there’s gen pop in arkham they just don’t show it” is genuinely one of the funniest things i’ve ever heard in my entire life

The real worst song is the Black Eyed Peas’ “Imma Be” and the real best song is the Black Eyed Peas’ “Boom Boom Pow”

I’ve got this friend that started posting detailed stories and reviews of times businesses or service professionals were rude, misogynistic, or otherwise mean to her. I read these stories and every time — and I mean EVERY time — I’m on the business’ side.

I like twitter because I am a natural born contrarian. When people say things my natural instinct is like “that’s so dumb and wrong!” and Twitter is the only place where that gives me like a 90% hit rate.

I’m the kind of sick where as soon as I’m done sitting on the couch and watching a movie, I gotta recuperate by going to bed.

watching seasons 2-9 of The Simpsons:

I’m going to “warm up the crowd” for Kevin Nealon in a couple weeks at the good ol’ Rio Theatre. If that sounds fun, here are some tickets you can buy: riotheatretickets.ca/events/34679-k…

The elephant at the beginning of Babylon (2022):

List your favorite 70s movies 70: M*A*S*H* 71: The Last Picture Show 72: The Godfather 73: Serpico 74: The Conversation 75: Dog Day Afternoon 76: All The President’s Men 77: Sorcerer 78: Invasion of the Body Snatchers 79: The Jerk

Ooo, an 80s one now. 80: The Shining 81: Thief 82: The Verdict 83: Scarface 84: Top Secret 85: After Hours 86: Hoosiers 87: Planes, Trains and Automobiles 88: Midnight Run 89: Do The Right Thing