Most people that listen to country music:”YEE HAW” Me listening to country music:”HELL NAW”

when I say “I’m Broke” that don’t mean i got $0. It just means I have responsibilities to handle first before spending it on dumb shit.

When Miranda Lambert said “ l numbed the pain at the expense of my liver” I felt like we all felt that

ye I’m sorry 😔

WITCH HUNT!

One time when I was cleaning out my truck I found a $10 bill and thought the old guy beside me dropped it so I gave it to him. 10 minutes later when I went to pay for a drink my dumbass learned that was my $10 and I still think about it all the time

Every dude in this picture could be named chandler and I wouldn't question it

Texting first ain’t a problem, just make me feel like you actually wanna talk to me

Dude intercepted a pass and ran the wrong direction and his own teammate had to tackle him to keep him out of the end zone x.com/MrRoscoes/stat…

If you flash your brights while mine are already dimmed, just know I want to drive head on into your dumbass.

"Time isnt real. Our planets already a scorched ball of iron floating in a silent, lifeless universe. We and everyone after us are long dead and forgotten. So who gives a shit that I put my dirty glass in the sink instead of the dishwasher?" - me 5 minutes ago making things worse

MANDELA EFFECT! Everyone is talking about a war with 'IRAN'! But I swear that in the 90's it was called 'IRAQ' Anyone else remember this? #freaky

A good dog name would be "Dogathan".

You know it's gonna be a long week when martial law gets called on a MONDAY!

Before all information was truly at our fingertips I’m proud to say that in middle I used to text questions to a service called ChaCha and they would text back the answer a couple minutes later…what a fucking service and time to be alive that was…massive salute to ChaCha

Congratulations to Princeton FFA for winning the inaugural Missouri Cup. bit.ly/2fPajp4

I will be having no further comments. And I ask that you respect my family's privacy during this time. x.com/davidbr5013286…