I just read an entire article about a person from a reality show I never watched who has made six-figures selling farts in a jar. What a time to be alive!

Got around to #CaptainAmerica #CivilWar and was pleased to find out it’s basically an update of Dazed and Confused. Will the whole team sign the pledge?

Two 120lb bicycles are being delivered to my house today for Mirrorbox Theatre and I’m both excited and terrified. Has watching the first season of Cheer made@me qualified to lift that much weight on my own?

Remembering the time I refused to believe that the woman next to me on the plane WASN’T Amy Adams.

Weird thing about writing history pieces, you can spend a whole night wondering: did Rutherford B Hayes have the perspective to regret ending Reconstruction?

I’d like to believe that under different circumstances I would have discouraged the toddler from dipping pasta in ketchup. But who am I kidding? #makeshiftmarinara

Grandpa Cavan almost fell for a phishing scam today when they said the Mirrorbox Theatre page was going to be deleted.

“I don’t sit down and have lunch with a lot of older white men.” The Negro Artist is so good with words that he can give you the greatest compliment and absolutely murder you at the same time. ☠️ ☠️ ☠️

Best thing about Twitter is that they aren’t pushing me to start a birthday fundraiser for EVERY THEATRE COMPANY other than the one I run.

Not only did he fully wind up before punching my penis, but I am not nice for walking away to recover, and I will not be allowed to see Mallory, the mallard who has abandoned her eggs. How’s your morning?

Kristen Bell still hasn’t responded to my Instagram message from earlier in the week and I am shocked.

Beautiful eclipse.

Excited for the #Magic but also terrified they’re going to take another 150 lb 8-footer whose body cannot support the rigors of professional basketball. Like, what lessons have been learned from Isaac and Bamba?

Congress needs to pass universal background checks, ban assault weapons and high-capacity magazines, and confirm Steve Dettelbach as head of the ATF. It’s time to turn this pain into action.

3 year-old just told me his melted crayon is called “sticky bastard.”

The Orlando Magic select Paolo Banchero with the first overall pick in the 2022 NBA Draft. "He’s a freak. His ability to handle the ball, handle, pass, his feel at that size; it just doesn’t happen." - Amile Jefferson on.nba.com/39LSZAK

Why are kids’ pajamas the only clothes that are flame retardant? My 15-month-old is the LEAST LIKELY person in my house to be near an open flame. Especially when asleep.

When telling the A-Word to play Boyz II Men, there is no reason it should take 5 songs to hear Motownphilly.

devastating news for people who can only name three musicals

This morning I’m part of kicking off the Iowa Ideas conference. Second panel this month means I don’t have to be in academia to wear a tweed jacket with suede elbow patches, right? #earnedit #fall