I know I'm getting old because they're rewriting history and saying the alternative emo kids were the standard There were like 30 of us in the entire school and you called us all slurs

We’re in a simulation that only has a few programming options.

As it should. What the fuck is happening

And yet, Fox News said that the people of Greenland were dying to do this deal.

Yeah this is gonna cause a revolution.

Another tour? Where the hell are your kids?

Can they take Washington too? Please?

Did he catch RFK’s brain worms? What is HAPPENING

What does he have on his cabinet and Congress that’s keeping them from invoking the 25th?

She’s doing skin to skin, which is crucial to bonding, and is crying because she’s excited about her baby. Why are you guys making it weird

I can’t believe how quickly people are willing to trust this account. They’ve repeatedly spread false information and deleted past tweets to cover their own negligence. Show the proof.

I hope he paints his nails too to make them EXTRA mad

"The Party told you to reject the evidence of your eyes and ears. It was their final, most essential command." ― George Orwell, 1984

I’m convinced ICE agents are just people that couldn’t pass to be cops.

It’s 30 degrees here and I have two fans pointed at me on blast. Pregnancy hot flashes are the worst 😂

I wish SNL wouldn’t make jokes like this. It takes the severity out of the situation but making light of it. That’s not okay.