I'm not very smart because I have no education, because I never went to school, because I'm a cactus.

Even though I spend all my time outside I never tan or burn, it's a shame.

Saw a tumbleweed today, it was too scared to face me so it tumbled away. #weaksauce

What's a day in the life of a cactus like?? Well it's pretty simple. I just sit in my pot and chill in the sun. Sometimes I get watered.

PSA: I'm a domestic cactus. I used live on the wild side but now I just chill on someone's window sill.

Just got asked what my favorite movie is, it's The Private Life of Plants, it's pretty riveting

What kind of cactus am I, well I'm a barrel cactus the coolest cactus of them all.

Do cacti cry, yes yes they do

Mood:

You all should follow these other great accounts dedicated to plant life POSITIVE PLANT and Botanical

What do cacti drink?? Anything spiked.

My favorite game is definitely Spikeball™ Inc

Mood:

Yesterday I saw a blue cactus, what has this world come to. #staygreen #notmycactus

I’m back sorry I was gone so long #cactusvacay

Spiders are not friends of the cacti clan. I repeat spiders are NOT friends of the cacti clan

What should I be for Halloween? I was thinking this, any thoughts?

Why do cacti not grow in the snow? Well because nobody wants to grow up in the freezing cold.